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Business as Usual by Alex Blum

I was sitting on the couch with my headphones in, listening to “Clint Eastwood” by the Gorillaz. Suddenly, my friend Caleb burst in. “Come on Alex, get off your !@#$. We have a job.”

I got up and followed him to our computer. We checked our recent emails. Immediately, we saw a new one from our math teacher:

“Hello, crew of the Boat-bop. As I’m sure you’re aware, the Red Paper Dragon syndicate has been plaguing Croker High School with its illegal energy drink ring. We have recently identified a certain Eric Anderson as the leader of the syndicate. Bring him in, and your grades just might significantly improve.”

Caleb turned to me. “Thoughts?”

“I’m in. Let’s do it!” I replied.

“Hold on. We need to think this through. After all, weren’t you once involved with the syndicate?”

I didn’t answer. “Dude, weren’t you just yelling at me to get off my !@#$ two seconds ago? Come on, we need this! Do you want to take summer school or not?”

Suddenly the door opened. Our friend Ella walked in, carrying bags of groceries. “Hey boys. What’d I miss?” “Shut up! Mind your own business,” we both snapped. “Rude,” she scowled. I turned back to Caleb. “I don’t care if you’re coming with me or not. I’m doing this. I can’t do another year of history.” With that, I stormed out of the houseboat.

Background by Alex Blum

If you’re confused, I don’t blame you. How often does your history teacher place a bounty on your classmate?

Well, last week, I saw something on the announcements that caught my attention. Which is a huge deal, because normally the announcements are so boring I have to pinch myself to keep from dozing off.

It was two kids named Jason Smith and Samantha Swanson. They were talking about a new “origami anime club” or something like that. But what really caught my eye were their finger puppets: they were TOM and SARA from Toonami on Adult Swim.

Most of the people in the class were snickering and calling them dweebs, but it gave me an idea. I talked to my friends Caleb and Ella, and we decided to join the club, with finger puppets from our favorite anime: Cowboy Bebop. Mine is Spike S-pleat-giel. Caleb has Jet Black-Sharpie. And Ella has Fold Valentine.

But we weren’t just doing this to be part of a club. We figured we could use it to our advantage, and become bounty hunters just like in the anime. We went to the principal with our idea, but he didn’t approve. Fortunately, our math teacher, Mr. Sloan, was more accepting. He said that he would improve our grades if we rooted the troublemakers out of his classroom. We operate out of Caleb’s parents’ crummy houseboat, the “Boat-bop”.

Unfortunately, our efforts have been rather…hit or miss in the past. But that’s going to change today. Caleb will be sorry he sat this one out.

Opportunity by Ella Lee

“Sooooo, are you gonna tell me what that was all about?” I asked Caleb, as soon as Alex left. “No,” was the instant reply. “Come onnn, let me see,” I said, trying to push past him to see the computer. “Eric Anderson? That’s your target?” “Shut up! That’s enough!” he said, turning the computer off. He then stormed off, probably to work on his bonsai trees. What a weirdo. Well fine, if he wants to take another year of math, so be it. But whenever there’s an opportunity to improve your life, I like to take it.

After Caleb left, the computer dinged with a notification, signaling another email. I quickly read it. It said that Eric will be attending a midnight screening at the Royal Cinema tonight. Looks like that’s where I’m headed.

The drive to the movie theater wasn’t great. While I was pulling out, I forgot to look left and nearly got creamed by a cement truck. Then, I got a notification on my phone, and while I was checking it I nearly rear-ended someone. Why don’t they tell you this stuff in driver’s ed?

But, finally, I made it, despite the reckless habits of my fellow drivers. I went inside, and saw two boys standing outside of the theater showing “Twisters.” Must be part of Eric’s entourage. I got my tickets and made my way over, trying to act casual. But as I got closer, they suddenly pulled out two air soft guns and pointed them at me. “We’ve been expecting you,” one of them sneered. “You’re coming with us.”

That didn’t seem good.

Old Acquaintances by Alex Blum

Eric knows a guy who knows a guy who’s dating one of my old acquaintances, a girl named Annie who works at the Spencer’s in the mall. I figure she’s the best place to start.

As I approached the Spencer’s, I saw two boys who looked like they were thirteen running out, giggling like little school-girls. The way they were holding their hoodies made me assume that they had shop-lifted something. My suspicions were confirmed when Annie charged out of the store, grabbing one by his hood. “I’ve got you now, you little !@#$”, she yelled. The other boy, however, wasn’t paying attention, and ran right into me. “Oof, he said. Hey, watch it jerk!” Annie turned her head. “It’s…you,” she exclaimed. She was so surprised she released the other thief, who ran off.

Quite The Pickle by Ella Lee

The two boys forced me into the theater, and guided me into the reserved row. There sat a shadowy figure, who I assumed was Eric. They forced me to sit down next to him. I turned my head to say something rude, and my eyes widened in shock. Eric was tied up, with duct tape over his mouth. He was just as much a prisoner as I was!

“You’re trembling, you pretty thing” a voice said behind me.

“Who-who do you think you are?” I demanded.

The mystery man chuckled, and stuck out his hand. On it was an origami finger puppet with silver hair and wielding a sword. “Just call me Ori-Vicious.”

Preparation by Alex Blum

“Here, you’ll want these,” Annie said, handing me an airsoft gun and some ammunition. “And these,” she said, handing me a few stink bombs. “Please don’t do anything stupid. Oh, who am I kidding, you never listen.” I thanked her and drove back to the Boat-bop.

I was looking for more ammunition, but Caleb approached me. “Dude, the bounty is a fake”, he said. “It’s a trap.” “I know,” I replied. “Is this about Eric?” he asked. “Yes,” I replied. “I owe him.” “Please don’t do anything stupid,” he said. “I don’t want too,” I replied. “But the past is catching up to me. I have no choice.”

Suddenly, our computer hummed with the sound of an incoming Discord voice call. We opened it. “Is that…Ella?” Caleb asked.

Indeed it was. And it didn’t look like she was doing too good. As a matter of fact, she was tied up. “H-hey guys,” she awkwardly chuckled. “Look, I kind of got myself into a bit of a pickle here. Can you do me a favor and come help me out?”

“Are you kidding?” Caleb bellowed. “You got yourself into this mess. You’re going to have to get out of it yourself. He went to hang up.

“Wait”, I said, grabbing his arm. “I have to do this. Let me hear where she is.” “I’m at an old church at the end of town,” Ella said. She gave me the address. “Please hurry!” Before Caleb could stop me, I raced out of the house boat and got in my car. I plugged the address into Google Maps and went on my way.

The Showdown by Alex Blum

I arrived at the church, and went inside. The scumbag was in the foyer, waiting for me. I knew it was him. He was holding OriVicious out on his finger. “So this is how you treat old friends?” I asked. “Not only me, but Eric too? We took you in, made you what you are!” Ori-Vicious chuckled. “Eric was a beast that lost his fangs. He got what he deserved. And so will you.”

I heard Ella gasp. One of Ori-Vicious’ henchmen walked out of the shadows, holding an airsoft gun to her head. I instantly pulled out my own weapon and aimed it at him. “Drop your weapon, slowly,” he ordered. I ignored him and shot him in the forehead with a BB. “Ow!” he stumbled back. “Why you little-!” From out of the shadows, Ori-Vicious’ henchmen emerged and began shooting at me with their own airsoft weapons. I dove behind the pews for cover. Ella took this opportunity to run for the door.

I somersaulted behind the pews, spying one of the goons shooting at me from behind a column. I shot him in the stomach, then ran behind the columns as another goon shot at me from the balcony. I took aim and shot him in the leg. I then grabbed one of the stink bombs and threw it behind me as I ran up the stairs.

I Need New Friends by Caleb Newell

I was pruning my bonsai trees at the Boat-bop when my phone went off. I put it to my ear. “Hello?”

“Caleb, it’s Ella!” she sounded panicked. “Alex is in trouble! We need you, stat!” “Gosh-darnit” I yelled, or something more explicit. Can’t you idiots stay out of trouble just for once! Why do I always have to come save your butts!” (I didn’t say butts). I hung up and sighed, then got my keys and ran out the door. “Don’t say I never did anything for you,” I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes.

Settling the Score by Alex Blum

I ran up the stairs. A goon was waiting for me, wielding two airsoft pistols. I shot him in the stomach, but he got me in the arm. “Dang it!” I gritted my teeth, but kept going. This was personal. I made it to the top of the church. Suddenly, Ori-Vicious stepped out of the shadows and swung a baseball bat at me. It hit my wrist, sending my pistol flying. He kept swinging, as I tried to avoid him. Suddenly, he scored a hit across my cheek. “Ouch,” I thought, “that’s gonna leave a mark.” I fell to the ground. He raised his bat for the finishing blow, but I grabbed my pistol and pressed it into his shoulder. We stood there, poised, waiting to see who would move first. “Alex, do you know what your face looks like right now,” he finally asked, breaking the silence. “What?” I asked. “A ravenous beast. The same blood runs in you and me. The blood of a beast who wanders, desiring the blood of others.” “I’ve bled all that blood away,” I responded. “Then why are you still alive?” he yelled, and he brought his bat down on my skull. I fired my airsoft pistol, hitting him in the shoulder. We both sat there, stunned. He recovered first, and grabbed me, forcing me backward through the window. As I fell, I discreetly threw a stink bomb through the window, hoping he wouldn’t notice. The smell hit my nostrils as I fell.

“Well, this didn’t go quite as I expected,” I thought ruefully. As I hurtled to the ground, only one name was on my mind. “Julia…”

Aftermath by Alex Blum

I woke up in a hospital bed to the sound of humming. I opened my eyes. It was Ella. She was reading a magazine in a chair beside my bed. “Oh good, you’re awake,” she said. “I had to tell your parents you were in a dirt-bike accident. Can you imagine.” She resumed reading her magazine and went back to humming.

I beckoned her to come closer. She did, and I leaned into her ear.

“You’re off key,” I told her.

All’s Well That Ends Well by Caleb Newell

I walked down the hospital corridor to Alex’s room. Suddenly, Ella stormed past me, nostril’s flaring. I peeked inside. Alex was sitting in the hospital bed amid a swarm of feathers. I assumed Ella had whacked him with it for whatever reason. “Hey buddy, how you feeling?” He groaned. “I brought you your favorite: cold beans!” He groaned even louder. “Hey, don’t blame me. If you caught the guy we’d be eating like kings!”